The Honeymoon Period

I get this phone call at least once a week. It goes something like this.

“I adopted a dog (over 6 months old) a little over a month ago. When I brought him (or her) home he was just the sweetest and quietest dog. He listened, seemed eager to please, and didn’t have a single accident. Then a couple of days ago he suddenly changed. He is pooping in the house, tearing up things and doesn’t listen. Did I make a mistake? I really don’t want to give him up but I can’t have him acting like this. Is there anything you can do?”

The good news is that this can be fixed.

What happened is that when you got the dog you went through the honeymoon period. The dog you brought home was not the dog you were going to end up. And the dog you end up with is dependent on how you acted during the honeymoon period.

When you brought the dog home you were thinking that the dog now has a secure home for the rest of its life. You will love and take care of it. You have rescued it because obviously the dog’s previous life was lousy. So to you the dog’s life has just gotten better.

But that is not what the dog was thinking. To the dog he belonged to a pack. It may not have been a very good pack, but it was his pack. He knew the rules and what was expected of him. Life was somewhat predictable, even in the worse home.

In his wolf and then later working ancestors, being kicked out of the pack is a life threatening event. A dog or wolf is not likely to survive on its own. So when a dog is run off, or loses, the pack, it has two choices. Survive for a minimal amount of time on its own, or find a new pack.

In order to be accepted in a new pack, the dog goes in as the omega dog. This is the lowest ranking member of the pack. It has only three jobs, be the last one to eat, be a stress relief to the other adults, and to play with the puppies. If the dog is accepted as the omega dog it survives.

So when your dog came home he did not think “oh boy my life just improved”, he thinks “what did I do to get kicked out of my old pack.” He is not sure he will be accepted into the new pack so he assumes the omega role.

During the honeymoon month, the dog is trying to figure out his place in this new pack. And he is trying to find out how high in this pack he needs to go. And if you did not give him time to figure out his place in this new pack, and clearly define his place in this pack, then he will try to figure it out on his own.

If you got a dog with high alpha drive he will try to take over. He sees it as his job to tell everyone else what to do. And if you got a dog with low alpha drive, he is pushing you to run the pack in a way to feel secure.

The way to handle this is training during the honeymoon period. You should find a trainer who understands this period and gives you tools and methods that allows the dog to join the new pack in a clearly defined role. Ask the trainer how he handles this period. If the trainer doesn’t know what the honeymoon period is, or says they handle it just like any other dog, find a different trainer.

Doug